We’re so good at beating ourselves up. The hurt we inflict with words alone is so damaging, and often, far from the actual truth.
Dips and peaks are part of the journey. Success is not a constant. Nor is it a one-size-fits-all package for “winners.” Success is what you make it to be – and that, my friend, can be any damn thing you want!
Feeling unsuccessful stems from a broken measuring stick, fear, and lack; a place we’ve all been. A restless and irritable state where you aren’t happy with the results that you’ve cultivated. Oftentimes, with the emphasis on the results needing to be physical manifestations of what we desire or something that someone else has that we don’t.
What we seem to negate is the fact that we have the power to shift the narrative. To change our mind from a place of lack and loss to that of a higher vibrating frequency of forward movement, acceptance, and accomplishment.
How do we do that?
We all know by now that perception makes up a great deal of our experienced reality. That what you think about, you bring about. Again, without even being aware of it, we’re often the thieves of our own joy.
It’s not to dismiss the fact that you most likely have experienced a reduction in pace, rejection or, something not quite working out as you had hoped. And these are very real examples with very real emotions attached to them.
What we don’t want to do is dismiss what we feel. Rather, we want to feel them, describe the feeling, and dig deeper.
We want to feel them, describe the feeling, and dig deeper.
By taking it a step further, we do the work of sifting through what seems only like negative remnants in order to find the light – to find the good. And this good will help make us better. Better how? For starters, wisdom! We become sharper, alert, and more in tune with what works for us, and that which doesn’t serve us anymore.
What if you’re perceived lack of “success” can be altered to not feel so bad?
Here are 3 ways to flip the script.
Basically, a self-interrogation; only friendlier and with the utmost respect and care for you and your individual journey.
Where does your feeling “unsuccessful” stem from?
What metrics are you using to measure “success”?
What bar are you trying to live up to? Was it set by you or someone else?
What went wrong?
Is this a temporary fork in the road or a permanent stop?
How important is it to you to still achieve your goal?
Are you willing to accept that there are other possible roads to achieving this goal?
These are just a few questions to help make clear what has happened and what needs to happen. By asking questions, we go beyond surface-level and start to see what lies beneath.
Take a comparison detox
There’s almost nothing more ego-crushing than measuring your success to that of someone else’s. Undeniably, in the digital age we live in, it can be hard to ignore the incessant stream of information coming our way – whether true or untrue. Even if you manage to turn the volume down, someone somewhere comes through.
Of course, we want to be supportive of each other’s wins. But the thief of joy lies in pulling out our measuring stick to assess where our success is in comparison, which leads to feelings of lack and fear.
The measuring stick is built on a lie. Yet another way our brain plays its swan song in order to keep us stuck in the rut. Ultimately, your brain just wants to keep you safe. That’s why it goes to those lengths to “protect” you from harm and rejection or feelings thereof.
However, making any sort of progress requires you to push beyond your established boundaries and venture out into the unknown. And yes, you won’t always feel as though you are “winning.” Instead, you are going at a pace that feels right for you and where you are in your life. It might take you a year or ten to feel as though you’ve achieved your goal. And yet, your success will be right on time.
Happy-go-lucky-it until you make it
Much like the fake it until you make it approach, by taking on a rose-tinted glasses view of things for a little while, you can actually start to believe that your situation is not as bad as you thought it was. The key here is to believe! We’re actively reinforcing as much positivity confetti into our perception, that we might just actually start to believe it. And wouldn’t you know…it might just boost your mood, which in turn could give you the push you need to keep moving forward.
This is a very over-the-top approach, especially if your usual energy level is more on the moderate side. But a funny thing happens when you’re actively bursting with positivity out your eyeballs; you might just start to like it.
Affirmations, upbeat music, spreading love, dancing, smiling and laughing. These things can dramatically alter our perception.
The key here to shifting your narrative from “unsuccessful” to a journey of success is in your willingness to adopt a new approach. To try a new path, learn a new skill, or drop an old habit.
Every day is an opportunity to renew and transform.
What isn’t working for you in your life right now?
Have you tried unplugging from social media for 24 hours before? If so, what was the result? How did it make you feel?
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♡ Much, much love.