If we’re really being honest with ourselves, we do in fact know what we want – even when it doesn’t feel like it.

Has the phrase “I don’t know what I want” come out of your mouth more times than you can bare?

The tiff often comes from not wanting to accept the truth or being so obscured by a mosh posh of clutter that it becomes hard to see. This often takes the shape of mental cloudiness; ill feeling states such as obligations, stress, inner conflict, doubt, and fear. These feelings clog our ability to flow.

Despite feeling overwhelmed by all the clutter, the truth of what you really want is always there. It’s just that those not-so-good feeling emotions and the truth cannot co-exist with one another. In order to see the truth, the clutter must be stripped away.

How do we do that? How do we eliminate the chaos that is in our minds and bodies so that we can clear the way for what we really want?

“Your brain shuts down when you say, I don’t know. It’s like the elevator doors just close; leaving you wondering when the doors will open again.”

Time and time again of dips and peaks and being confused about so much, I started to notice a pattern. As shitty as I felt at the crossroads of something, of some decision I needed to make, deep down I felt a knowing. It was like I instinctively knew that I already had the answers to the questions I was asking.

But, repeating “I don’t know” at the end of every sentence didn’t help. As soon as I said that phrase, my mind came to a dead stop.

Clearly, I’ve overcome many situations I once said “I don’t know” to. So, what changed? What was different? How did I separate the lie from the truth?

Pay attention to the whispers

Ever so subtly or loud, feelings, circumstances, and physical reactions occur on a level of consciousness. A heavy sigh to a specific thought, a slight upset in your stomach when you outweigh the pros and cons of a decision, or a second of pause before you give an answer.

These are all tells.

Signs of the truth reacting through you. You probably end up beating yourself up about why it is you’re having these feelings. Especially if they’re contrary to the decision you think should be the right one for you. The whispers are there to help us see. To help us avoid being dishonest and not betray ourselves. Don’t shy away from the whispers. Dig deeper. Ask yourself, “Why am I feeling this way? What am I to learn from this?” and go from there.


Yes, just ask yourself…” What do I really want?” To help the stream of ideas flow, ask a more thought-provoking statement like “Wouldn’t it be really cool if…” or “If I could do, be or have anything, I would totally…” And you know am an avid believer in writing things down, so definitely do that. Writing it down helps carry the feeling. In the seconds of writing, you may even be more aware of how you’re feeling. Sad? Angry? Excited? Pumped? Nervous? Jealous? It doesn’t matter. Don’t judge yourself for your honesty. Repeat this for several days at a time over the course of a week or even a month. At the end of this period, evaluate your writings and pick out the most recurring phrases and words.

Get happy

When we’re happy, excited, feel joyous and outright high on life, we feel unstoppable. Magical, blissful, and so very beautiful. With a new pair of specs on, we see beauty in people, places, things, and ourselves. Joy is light and, in the light, the path is clear. The slate is clean and we see more clearly than before.

  • Do you apply any one or all three of these tools to help you uncover what it is you really want?

  • How do ‘whispers’ show up in your life?

  • Any other useful tips for getting over the “I don’t know what I want” hump?

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As always,

♡ Much, much love.

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